鏡よ鏡、この世で一番美しいのは僕ですか

夜に乗る電車と地下鉄に共通する事は窓やドアが鏡の様に反射する事だ。立つ位置によってガラス越しに車両全体が把握できるので、スパイになった様な気分になる。口を死んだ様に開いて眠るサラリーマンやマシンガン並みの速さでメールを打つ高校生。気付かれずに乗客の姿をクールに観察するのが私の暇つぶし手法だ。だが、そんな冷静さをイッキにぶち壊す奴らがいる。

奴らは電車に乗ってくると、まず反射した自分に挨拶を交わす。頭は前かがみに20度下がり、目線は上目使いでキリットした「決め顔」。つり革を片手で掴みながら、あらゆる角度で自分の顔をチェックする。そして、空いている方の手で前髪を親指と人差し指で器用に整える。 一駅分程奴らのグルーミングは続く。やっと終わったかと思えば、なんと次は乗客が自分のかっこいい姿に気付いているかを確認し始めるではないか。体の位置を変えながら、顔を向けてくる。ほんの一瞬目が合う時、私の手は拳になる。　再び奴らの目線は窓に戻り、ゆっくりと指が前髪の方へと移動し始める。

「その指をへし折りたい。」

自分の外見に惚れ込む事は結構な事だが、通勤中に美貌を確認する奴らの姿はなんとも女々しい。だいたい、前髪をさっきから何度も触っているが、全く変わっていない事に何故気付かない。何故人が大勢いる場所で平然と自分の身だしなみを直せるのか。そして、何故そこまで自意識過剰なのだろう。

男と言えば強くて単純でロマンチスト。だけど、いざと言う時、頼りになる生き物のはず・・・だった。しかし、現代を生きる奴らはギリシャの神話に登場するナルシサスの様だ。美少年のナルシサスは池に反射する自分の美しさに見とれてしまい、その場所から離れられないと言う話だ。　ナルシサスは今後増え続け、「男気」はやがて死んでしまうのだろうか。

最近の女は女性らしくない、等と言う男もいるだろうが、その言葉をそっくり返す。
男なんだから、もっと男らしくしろよ

Good morning sunshine @ work

a typical morning @ tv asahi


gotta love it.

bitch ass weather

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMI!!!!

it' that time of the year again.
and each year, on ami's birthday it has to rain or snow.

this year, it's a little bit of both.

noooooooooooooooooooo.


to my new dress:

i had plans to wear you tonight darling,
but with this weather,
i might just save you for another occasion.


damn it!!!!!!


jeans check
boots check
warm jacket check
cigarettes check
lip stick check
money check



helloooo shibuya.

The One

a lot of people say:


"i knew he(she) was the one when i first saw him(her)"

but i wonder how many people think that, mean it, and the relationship completely fails.

STATISTICS, please.

perhaps one can only say it after it really happens, you know?
i mean who the hell would want to act a fool, tell the entire world they think they found the one, and it doesn't work.

Q:"hey so, whatever happened with you and that guy???"
A: "ummm... what guy?"


so i'm gonna act a fool.
cuz i really think this one guy is it!



crossing fingers till it bleeds.

2011!!

OH WOW!!!
how time flies yes?!

happy happy 2011 (batting eyelashes, sending kisses to everyone)!!


i don't know about you,
but my resolution??

i want to be in shape!!

my stomach, it's like something else.

who are you!!!!

what do you want from me?!?!


so yea, my moms, she got me reebok easytones for my birthday!


AND!!

it really makes your thighs sore when you walk in them.

so yes.

expect to see me walking in komazawa park with them shoes more often then you think ;)

Got Luck?

so i was talking with my coworkers the other day...about luck and shit, you know?
like how you are either born with it or not, and how there is a stock of 'lucks'--- as in, you use too much all at once, you run out of it, and how you don't really get to choose when to use your luck, because that by itself is your luck.

yikes.

so anyway, it's bounenkai (end of the year drinking) season, and my stupid department is going to assign seats to everyone via lotto style. so yea, i guess we'll be pullin out numbers instead of sitting next to the person you want to have fun with. (what kind of shit is that?!)

then i told my coworker:
dude, i really suck at these raffle type, lotto type stuff. it's like i have no luck and i always end up getting the worst choice or losing.

my coworker:
yea but thats okay because you want to save your luck for other things, you know? like something better.

-----

and then, i started thinking.
about the time i was in 1st grade.
and how my school had this holiday happening event. this one classroom was set up so that it was this huge musical chairs room. and each chair had a number behind it.

every time the music stopped, we'd rush to sit in one of the seats.
then, mrs. fukudome (the don of the classroom) would draw out a number, and call it.
we'd look at our seat number, and hey, if it was the same number, we won an orange.

AND.

i won like fucking 5 times in a row, and on my 6th win, it got so awkward, to win again, i changed seats secretly.


i think,
like i seriously think.

all my luck was used up on those 5 oranges i won when i was in 1st grade.



the end!


happy holidays!

F U TOO.

so here is my problem. (of the many i have, of course.)

i'm a complete sucker for people, really.
like those happy go-friendly dogs at auntie's house. the type that licks your hand and sits on your lap. until you do ONE bad thing (like stepping on their paw, running over their tail, blaming your fart on the dog, etc.) and all hell breaks lose. the thought-to-be nice pup completely hates you and the next time you visit your aunt, you already know "momo-chan" ain't going to be showing its K-9s and it sure as hell won't be smiling either, holmes.

ummmm.

so yea, one offense from a person and i'm a complete stranger. this doesn't apply to anyone i know for a while... this is the person that you are getting to know, the one you hanged out a few times with, but you don't know who they slept with or what their parents/siblings look like.

and i bring this subject up today... because there is this girl at work i've been hanging with a few times, i totally think she is cool, except today she dissed me (or i assumed she did) and now i don't even want to bother saying good morning to her anymore.

so here is my question.

at what point do you give a shit to clarify misunderstandings? and when will i become less self centered. i mean, she could have been sleepless for the last 24 hours, extremely stressed out or was in the middle of being in deep shit.

but little do i give a shit, because all i care about is making sure i get the smile back.
F U TOO BITCH!!!


oh dear...(saying it like piglet)



isn't that disgustingly selfish?!


and isn't it oh so human?



i've fallen in the pits, haven't i.


it's so hard to make new friends after you turn 25, seriously.