frustration

pissed at the fact that i can't offer anything when i want to give the world,
at the fact that everything i learned through school didn't help with the career i have today,
the fact that elites look down on my family and i,
and assume my potential,
when i feel like this isn't it just yet.

annoyed at the fact that its a given.
a given that if you want to achieve to another level you have to give what it takes.
effort,
effort...
effort!

how endless could it be.

tired of feeling hopeless of myself.
of beating myself up for something i am not.

exhausted of people, family, friends and lovers.


motivated more than ever. clenching teeth till it bleeds.

やっぱり

恋愛とかめんどくさい。


どうしよう？！

バレンタイン

が終わっても。

最近沢山恋してます。

幸せやね~

魔法ですよ、本当に。しかも。女子って。
恋すると、なーんかかわいくなるってよく聞く！

だから。
ちょっと遅いけど、初めて今青春している感じで
にやけちゃおーっと。

うふふ。

はい、きもいね～

レッツ・ジャパニーズ

なんだかねぇ～
帰国してもう1年がアッと言う間に過ぎてしまったよーー >_<
ぎゃ！

それなのに、匹敵するほどの成果も生めず。
今後の事が心配なんだけど。。。

最近思ったんだ。

人生の見方って自分自身で把握するもんだって。
自分が毎日、辛い。苦しい。とかって考えるのも、毎日幸せで
楽しく暮らすのも。全部自分の見方次第じゃない？

だからね。
今日を笑って暮らそう。
今日できる事をしよう。って。

まるで計画性ゼロ人間なんだけど。この考え方を持つように
なってすっごい楽になったんだ。

やっぱ、マイナスの人生は歩みたくない。

頑張らなきゃね。

ちなみに、最近日本語を習おうと思ってできるかぎり新聞とか
読んだりしてるんだ。だけど、読み方わかんにゃい。

あら？？

そして。ノートには分からない漢字を書いて次の日読み直そう
とすると、全部忘れてる。

こんなダラケきった人生に乾杯！

わーーーい☆

（ぶっ壊れてます。）

snow!!!

last night around 11 pm!!!
ahhhh it finally snowed in tokyo! hisashiburi no yuki deshita!!!

mannn i remember back in hs when it would snow and school would get cancelled. it was the bestest-estest feeling in the world.

didnt stick too hard though, just enough to make a tiny snowman, etc. at the roof of our workplace.




how i miss snowboarding...!!!!!!! (and being good at it!!!)

my wanko chan

jiro-chan wearing an elizabeth collar. LOL. isnt that collar name fucking hilarious? anyway yesterday morning my beloved dog Jiro passed. 12 years! not so bad for a dalmation eh? he even said a few `ruff-ruffs` in the morning, i think he was telling the family he was peacing out?? so i just wanted to quickly dedicate a post for him.

hontouni, hontouni asobi gokoro ga takusan aru inu de saigo no saigo made baka deshita. how many times did he eat the pillows we gave him, i dont even fucking now. and how many times did he escape to komazawa park and harass other people, i dont even want to remember. or sneak in the kitchen and eat all the cookies (and the plastic wrappers) or finish an entire bag of dog food and ended up looking like a mommy dog ready to give birth to 30 puppies? sigh. or bark at me when i would come home, not recognizing that i live there too?!

but. it was cool that he actually smiled when he was happy, and it was funny how he could extinguish a burning cigarette, or bark at strangers/roamers in the night time, and was bilingual with both english and japanese.

so i owe a thank you to my jiro chan. for brining the family together in terms of being responsible.. and i hope he goes to those dog heavens where they can drink beeh and hoot at pretty poodle girl dogs. etc. etc.

yey <3

i actually understand how to deal with japanese men now!!!!!
FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!

which is completely different from whether or not i am fond of this... species? meh. anyway...

BONES (that show on FOX or FX eh) and other scientific studies have continuously reminded me that the eyes literally sparkle due to dialation when you have a crush on someone. so my question is. how come boys are so dull on everything possible on this universe except scense when girls like them? or should i use the term men and women.

i don't know.

anyway going for a 妻子 is out of the QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

high five motherfuckers.

by the way, i found out that some people have been talking mad shit about what is true and what isnt true about him and her, etc. shouldn't an individual confirm whether or not something is literally true if they are so certain about their talking shit 'subject'. because homie, you are this close from being dillusional.

with love.