bitch ass weather

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMI!!!!

it' that time of the year again.
and each year, on ami's birthday it has to rain or snow.

this year, it's a little bit of both.

noooooooooooooooooooo.


to my new dress:

i had plans to wear you tonight darling,
but with this weather,
i might just save you for another occasion.


damn it!!!!!!


jeans check
boots check
warm jacket check
cigarettes check
lip stick check
money check



helloooo shibuya.

The One

a lot of people say:


"i knew he(she) was the one when i first saw him(her)"

but i wonder how many people think that, mean it, and the relationship completely fails.

STATISTICS, please.

perhaps one can only say it after it really happens, you know?
i mean who the hell would want to act a fool, tell the entire world they think they found the one, and it doesn't work.

Q:"hey so, whatever happened with you and that guy???"
A: "ummm... what guy?"


so i'm gonna act a fool.
cuz i really think this one guy is it!



crossing fingers till it bleeds.

2011!!

OH WOW!!!
how time flies yes?!

happy happy 2011 (batting eyelashes, sending kisses to everyone)!!


i don't know about you,
but my resolution??

i want to be in shape!!

my stomach, it's like something else.

who are you!!!!

what do you want from me?!?!


so yea, my moms, she got me reebok easytones for my birthday!


AND!!

it really makes your thighs sore when you walk in them.

so yes.

expect to see me walking in komazawa park with them shoes more often then you think ;)

Got Luck?

so i was talking with my coworkers the other day...about luck and shit, you know?
like how you are either born with it or not, and how there is a stock of 'lucks'--- as in, you use too much all at once, you run out of it, and how you don't really get to choose when to use your luck, because that by itself is your luck.

yikes.

so anyway, it's bounenkai (end of the year drinking) season, and my stupid department is going to assign seats to everyone via lotto style. so yea, i guess we'll be pullin out numbers instead of sitting next to the person you want to have fun with. (what kind of shit is that?!)

then i told my coworker:
dude, i really suck at these raffle type, lotto type stuff. it's like i have no luck and i always end up getting the worst choice or losing.

my coworker:
yea but thats okay because you want to save your luck for other things, you know? like something better.

-----

and then, i started thinking.
about the time i was in 1st grade.
and how my school had this holiday happening event. this one classroom was set up so that it was this huge musical chairs room. and each chair had a number behind it.

every time the music stopped, we'd rush to sit in one of the seats.
then, mrs. fukudome (the don of the classroom) would draw out a number, and call it.
we'd look at our seat number, and hey, if it was the same number, we won an orange.

AND.

i won like fucking 5 times in a row, and on my 6th win, it got so awkward, to win again, i changed seats secretly.


i think,
like i seriously think.

all my luck was used up on those 5 oranges i won when i was in 1st grade.



the end!


happy holidays!

F U TOO.

so here is my problem. (of the many i have, of course.)

i'm a complete sucker for people, really.
like those happy go-friendly dogs at auntie's house. the type that licks your hand and sits on your lap. until you do ONE bad thing (like stepping on their paw, running over their tail, blaming your fart on the dog, etc.) and all hell breaks lose. the thought-to-be nice pup completely hates you and the next time you visit your aunt, you already know "momo-chan" ain't going to be showing its K-9s and it sure as hell won't be smiling either, holmes.

ummmm.

so yea, one offense from a person and i'm a complete stranger. this doesn't apply to anyone i know for a while... this is the person that you are getting to know, the one you hanged out a few times with, but you don't know who they slept with or what their parents/siblings look like.

and i bring this subject up today... because there is this girl at work i've been hanging with a few times, i totally think she is cool, except today she dissed me (or i assumed she did) and now i don't even want to bother saying good morning to her anymore.

so here is my question.

at what point do you give a shit to clarify misunderstandings? and when will i become less self centered. i mean, she could have been sleepless for the last 24 hours, extremely stressed out or was in the middle of being in deep shit.

but little do i give a shit, because all i care about is making sure i get the smile back.
F U TOO BITCH!!!


oh dear...(saying it like piglet)



isn't that disgustingly selfish?!


and isn't it oh so human?



i've fallen in the pits, haven't i.


it's so hard to make new friends after you turn 25, seriously.

ニックネーム

結構色んな友達とかに付けるかも。

後は、好きな人が職場で出来る時とか？


取りあえず、最近、自分の部署でキューンする人ができました。
しかも、ニックネームは

「シャドウ・ザ・ウィスキー」

（笑）


ちなみに結構前に好きだった人は

「サイボーグ○○号」


なので、今日は私が勝手にイケテルって思うニックネームの紹介をします：

①バンブープリンセス
②バーゲン
③トトロ
④虎パン
⑤ガヤヤ
⑥にゃん吉
⑦くさい
⑧プリケツ
⑨おねがいちゃん
⑩犬

等です。
彼らはモチロン私が影でこんなフザケタニックネームをつくってる事もしらない（バーゲン以外）。


そー言えば。
ふと考える事があるんだけど。

A「ねぇ、○○ちゃんって知ってる？」
B「んーー誰だっけ？」
A「ほら、髪の毛がすっごいクリンクリンでさ、声がハスキーで背が超高いこ！！」

はい。そこで、最後の文章なのですが。


人は自分の事をどうやって説明するのだろう？って思った事ありません？？


と、まぁ、考える時があるんですがね・・・

In Japan....

自分の個性がドンドン消えてゆく・・・って思うかも。

やっぱり、日本の社会のスタンダードに抵抗しても自分が辛いだけなのね。
どうりでeveryone is SO THE SAME. だって、who would want to be an outcast.

今の会社は紹介して貰って初めて面接を受ける事ができるような会社なんですけど。
その紹介してくれた人を「まま」って呼んでます。

そして、その「まま」は人の悪口ばっかり言うKさんと同期なんだ。

ままとKさんがお昼にいったっぽくって、Kさんがままに私の悪口こぼしたらしい。
んでーー、なんかままが私にそれを言ってきて。


思ったんだ。
もう、これ以上Kさんには何も言われたくないし、言われるような事は一切しちゃだめだって。
じゃないとままをdisappointしちゃうから。


これからはflawlessな敬語で話して、謹んで、謙虚になって・・・



あぁ、疲れそう。


it's not that i want to be something different, it's just that people want me to be this or that.
to what extent do i have to modify myself without feeling too choked?


i really need to study my japanese more. このままじゃ中途半端すぎだよ。